Unspecial

I auditioned for America's Got Talent. It was, to say the least an interesting experience. Some girls want to beat up one of my ex boyfriends. They have met him because their singing group is an offshoot of one that he was involved in founding years ago in college. I befriended a group of girls who teach fire dancing and brought their group to audition. I also befriended the people on either side of me in line. One is a girl who needs a teacher to be able to audition for the performing arts high school. She has to learn an Italian aria. I can help her with that. I am trying to build a reputation for being able to prepare students for that level.

What happened with the actual audition is that I learned that this really isn't a talent show. My story was buried because they has so many singers to get through. I learned that to make yourself more interesting, you should play something while you sing. I learned that they pick some really bad people with no talent on purpose. I learned that they make is seem like a talent show when it really is only about ratings. There were so many talented people there. Why are they picking Boy Shakira when they can have someone who is actually good? I don't even mean me.

By the end of the evening, I was in tears because they didn't even look at my story and I didn't think to say anything when I introduced myself. I only got 90 seconds to shine, as did everyone else. I know that it's possible to pick people from that, but they aren't even looking or listening for talent. Partly I was in tears because I was so tired from standing in line all day or waiting around.

One of my friends said, You are talented, you don't need a show to tell you that. Maybe exposure because that's always nice. But you don't need them to tell you you're talented.

He's right. I felt better after he said that. I do feel like people don't understand how hard it is to make it as a professional singer. Some of my students and my coworkers thought I was amazingly talented and that I should be on American Idol or some show like that. They don't stop to think that I'm not the age or the look that they want. I don't know why I forgot.