Wreck-ommendation

I asked the principal at the high school for a letter of recommendation. I had no idea he would end up explaining every detail of what the old choir teacher did to make my job a living hell for me. Oh, he also said I was energetic, really knew my subject matter and had no doubt of my success at another job where I wasn't being actively sabotaged.

Ummm. Wow. I try to talk about it as little as possible.

I say things like:
It wasn't a fit.
The old teacher took them to China.
He was a hard act to follow.
No one was ready for a new choir teacher.
I wasn't really prepared to teach piano, though I adapted to the situation.
I want to work for just one school rather than two.
I prefer working with high school or junior high (depending on the interview).

Funny, one of my issues all along has been this piano monkey on my back. Well, he didn't mention the piano class either. Everyone forgets about it.

The More I Listen, part 2

Cali came to visit me after school and we started talking about things.

Cali: Miss D, I don't want you to feel bad anymore. You're a really awesome teacher. One of my best friends is over at his high school now and she says they all hate him.
MissD: Are you serious?
Cali: Yeah. I think it's because he was over here so long.
MissD: I guess what comes around goes around. That all makes me feel a little bit better about things.
Cali: You'll see, next year will be better.
MissD: Here's hoping.
Cali: My mom asked me who my favorite teacher was and she said she's going to get whoever my favorite teacher is a bottle of wine. Miss D, I'm going to get you a big ol' bottle of wine. You'll feel better after you drink that, that's for sure.
MissD: Let's go get lunch.
Cali: I think all they did to you this year was dumb. I was iffy at first, but I've really learned alot from you.

I don't tell her I'm not coming back. I can't. I know I'm going to have to soon but I keep putting it off.

Always Go to Job Fairs

That's the general rule if you are looking for a job. Apply online for jobs, yes, but also go to job fairs--it's the best way to market yourself in a large urban area.

It lets you know who the competition is. It makes you feel like you don't measure up...
We were all in a room together listening to other people interview. We knew if they were interested in us by if they tried to pass you to another person or thanked you for coming. They asked one lady to wait to talk to them more. She 20 years of experience teaching choir. I knew I didn't measure up to that. I've had 1 rather distressing, harrowing year. Hmmm, you wouldn't pick me either!! They thanked me for coming and told me to make sure I sent in my paperwork. Right. I was distressed.

But then again, why would they ask me to stay? My godawful year has shaken me to the core. It must show.

It's also a great way to find out the latest gossip...
I ended up talking to a guy who teaches at the same school as the other choir teacher. What he told me was very revealing:

H: They made his choir a dumping ground.
D: Last year he took his students on a major tour.
H: Well, that's not gonna happen with this group. They hate him because of where he used to be.
D: What about the piano classes?
H: He still has students for that.
D: He should have stayed where he was and spared us all alot of grief. I guess the grass is always greener until you have to mow the lawn.
That's so true.
D: How about you? Why are you looking for something new?
H: I'm only part time.
D: Just wondering..but do you remember having to be told what to do all the time when you were in high school? Cause I don't remember things being that way.
H: Me either. I thought I was the only one. I had this kid on my sound crew who just didn't show up for the show. I ended up doing it. He was totally unreliable. They told me if I drop him, he just gets a withdraw but if he drops, he gets withdraw fail.
D: That sucks. I just don't remember anybody being like that when I was a kid.
H: Too many distrations.
D: I don't know about that. When I was a kid we used the CB raidio before there was the internet. My brother and I met kids our age all the time. We had them come to our house and we snuck out the window to hang out with them. It was fun. I just think there have always been distractions.

It was an interesting conversation. Then they called him in to interview. We wished each other well, and that was that. I was glad I was too bored to just sit there.

The More I Listen

The more I listen to my students, the more I learn about the behind the scenes drama that led to my apparent demise. For a short time we had a student who hailed from a school with an established choral program. I sat with Lisa talking after working with her on a song. I really miss giving private lessons.

Lisa: When Ruth was here, she said you weren't a very good teacher.
MissD: I was really sick when she was here, and have a pretty serious injury to my right arm so I was having a hard time.
Lisa: She said the teacher at her other school was way better.
MissD: I can see why she would think that. I'm friends with that teacher. He's been there for 20 years.
Lisa: How long have you been teaching?
MissD: This was my first year teaching choir.
Lisa: Oh, that explains alot.
MissD: It's hard to compare what he has over there to what is going on over here. 20 years building up his program compared to trying to take over what was going on here is totally not fair at all.
Lisa: Some of the other kids were getting together and saying that they wanted to give you a bad time just for fun.
MissD: Yes, and that's something else that the other choir teacher doesn't have. The sad thing is, they accomplished their goals and tore up the choir program in the process. Good job!
Lisa: Next year will be better. No one will remember Mr. M. You have some kids that really like to sing and now that you've been here, you can kick some of the others out.

Yes, Lisa, next year no one will remember Mr. M, and I will try hard to forget. I will be somewhere else. I promise not to forget you, though. You were one of my sweet things. I hope you make it through to graduation. I hope you get away from your mom who beats you. I hope you make it.

Don't Quit, Miss D!!

I saw one of my students who has not been coming to class and pretended to look shocked. He's a good kid. He said he's been really depressed and has been having a hard time waking up.

MissD: You're alive.
Dean: Yes. Miss D, you're a cool teacher. I...well, I was gonna say something else. Some of the kids don't like you, but it's for really stupid reasons. And I think you're a cool teacher.
MissD: Like what?
Dean: I don't want to say. It's dumb.
MissD: You might as well tell me. I've actually heard all. (I had just suspended Sassy from class today for calling me retarded.)
Dean: well, some of the kids don't like you because you don't play piano very well.
MissD: Yeah, I have a pretty serious injury, but I can still tell people how do do fingerings and coach them to make it better.
Dean: And some say you don't have a commanding enough personality. (Hmmm...that's interesting, people always told me I was bossy.) And some don't like how you dress.
MissD: That's really funny about how I dress. Some of them think I wear black too much. Whatever.
Dean: Like I said, it's for dumb reasons.
Another student rolled out on a computer chair while we were talking.
MissD: It's because I'm following the Mr. M...
Dean: My only issue is that you could have spent more time with me practicing even though I never come to class.
MissD: I can only spend a short time with each person, besides, there's just no getting around pressing your own fingers to the keys to improve.
Mark: Miss D, you're not going to quit are you? You're really cool. (He was one of the kids I observed for senior projects) And you have really pretty eyes. I just noticed that. (I winked at him.)
MissD: Thanks. I've heard there are teachers who quit halfway through the year.
Cali: One teacher called me a little bitch in front of the whole class and read my diary to everyone. I was so embarrassed.
MissD: Are you serious? I would never do that. (Though I have called kids snotty for answering back.)
Cali: But then Mr. S came and he was really nice.
Mark: Well, next year will be better, and the year after that, no one will remember Mr. M at all. Don't quit Miss D.
MissD: I'll think about what you said.

Another kid I had really liked at first but then had to kick out of my class for singing about Hitler killing the jews and sexual harrassment (directed at ME!) was eavesdropping on the conversation.

They don't know it's already too late. It's so sad. Some of these kids are really sweet and they aren't even my students. Maybe if I had some of these students, I wouldn't be in the place where I am today. Cali is one of my students, though.

Nasty Little Rumors

One student came to me and said, Miss D, I heard they fired you and that they are going to find a real piano teacher for next year.

MissD: Really? Is that what you heard? I've done really well at teaching you guys piano. Where did you hear that?

I have done well at that. I wasn't exactly fired it's just that, well...I was offered the opportunity to resign.

That's not the only rumor though. The other rumor is worse in some ways.

Gossip: I heard something from a reliable source about this job.
MissD: What did you hear?
Gossip: You can't tell anyone. The person told me not to tell you.
MissD: Sure, whatever. Who would I tell?
Gossip: I heard they're going to hire the old teacher back.
MissD: Really? Are you serious?
Gossip: Yeah, and she's friends with people in the district office.
MissD: If that's true, I could have done without being here at all. I mean, seriously, why did I even come.
Gossip: It has to be for some reason. I mean, you've got to be a stronger person for what you've been through. Have faith.

It's hard to have faith that a supreme being of any kind would put anyone through so much. I'm going to check up on what he said. It won't be hard to find out if it's true.