Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Elusive Happy Place

I woke up feeling tired and angry this morning. Tired because I didn't sleep enough. Just plain angry over EVERYTHING. I have friends and have heard of teachers who have all kinds of methods to make it through the day. Valium, pot, whatever. I was thinking of taking some dexedrine that I have left over from another time, but it's old and I'm not sure how it would impact me at the end of the day. It's slightly addictive and there is a crash when you come off of it. But it would make me happy.

I decided to up the dose of the antidepressant I have been taking. It helped a little, but I was still unhappy. I still cried after school. In front of a student when she said I looked stressed. I cried because some of the kids asked the accompanist to sign their yearbooks, but not me. One kid asked me, though.

I took a nap after school for 2 hours.