That Family Feeling (1st day back)

My school went through the WASC accreditation visit while I was out sick. The committee went on and on about the welcome they received and the family feeling of the campus. After all I have been through lately, the only family feeling I have is of being a foster child who is about to go to another home. It made me sick to my stomach. While everyone else was happy and congratulating each other, I felt ready to throw up. I left without speaking to anyone. I just don't have the energy to deal with this any more.

I know that's mean. Congrats to them. I didn't understand the process or my role in it because I was so caught up in my own world of trying to survive a year of going between two campuses and all the other crazy stuff I have endured. I could only think of the people I liked and had worked on forming relationships with that I won't be around to develop. I understand now why teachers might be a little distant with first year teachers. They never know who will be back next year.

I also thought about the students who were so sweet about me coming back.
Miss D, the committee came and we had to sing. No accompanist, no director.
Miss D, we were really worried about you.
Miss D, where have you been?
Miss D, you owe us donuts.

(WASC stands for the Western Association of Schools and Colleges. Until this year I didn't know that they also dealt with high schools. But not all high schools have a WASC accreditation)