The Meeting With The Principal

Thursday was not my lucky day.

I was called in for my review and it was not good. It was bad. It was awful.

I could see the handwriting on the wall when someone from the district office was there for our meeting. I didn't really know what to do at that point.

As we went through my review, I could see all the marks that said needs improvement or unsatisfactory. I don't think I've ever had such a bad review in my life, except for the first one. At least now there were a few marks the said meets or exceeds expectations. I started looking at the next page.

Principal: I'm still on the first page.
MissD: I'm sorry. I was just wondering, if we could skip to the end like a book. Sometimes you want to know what's coming.
Principal: There's a process I have to go through.

With me, because I am the choir teacher, there are things on my review that are rather unexpected. They mentioned low enrollment in the choral program, kids asking for schedule changes, the last choir concert not going very well. Honestly, after the things I have been through, I sort of knew there wouldn't be any chance of recovering. I should have quit. I thought I could overcome. My mistake.

I ended up in tears. There has been so much to overcome. Things that were unexpected, things that weren't made clear, secret expectations I could in no way meet. The guy who left the position spent 10 years building up his program. It was based largely on his personality. How could anyone measure up?

Part of the reason for my sick day was because I am very sick, but the other part is that I have to gather myself up somehow to face my students for the next few months knowing I won't be back.

I would have preferred an impersonal pink slip.

Nasty Little Rumors

The high school was having an open house and the 8th graders got a list of all the 9th grade teachers. I wasn't on it. I asked my little TA about the list.
D: I wonder why I'm not on it. I teach 9th graders.
Kid: You do?
D: Yes, I have all the grades in my class. Maybe it's because I'm an elective teacher. You can have me next year though. Don't you want to be in choir next year? We'll do songs from Wicked.

She got really quiet and looked sad.
Kid: Maybe you aren't on the list because you aren't going to be here next year. I heard they aren't going to have you back.
D: Really? Honey, I haven't heard anything. Where did you hear this? Sometimes people start rumors. Don't you think I would be the first to know?
Kid: Well, it's just that I heard it from my brother. He doesn't gossip. He's friends with alot of teachers.
D: Well, I haven't heard anything. As far as I know I plan to be back next year.

I have to admit I was a little upset. I've had problems this year with kids starting rumors about me. I honestly can't remember what half of them were. One was that I had told a kid he was excused from his homework for the week because of the choir concert. The principal of the junior high called me into the office for that. Unbelieveable.

It's also been really horrible following a teacher that all the kids say they loved. It happens all the time in choir programs. It takes time to rebuild a program after a much loved teacher leaves. I know they don't love me as much, except maybe a few who have told me that the other teacher hated them. Happens, right?

I found my union rep at the junior high. He basically told me that they would let me know in May. Probationary contracts are designed to be like a no-fault kind of thing. They can let you go as long as it's legal. Like they can't let you go because of race. But they can let you go if they just don't like you. Hmmm. That was a no answer kind of answer.

I then found my union rep at the high school. She had a different answer. If you didn't get a pink slip, you should be safe. The first year teachers they are letting go have already been notified and one of the positions has already been flown. You're good. Thanks be to God.

I have to admit, as much as I hate the little rumors, they really do have an impact. My afternoon was basically wrecked. The very least I could have go well in my life is to have a job for next year rather than spend my whole summer panicked about trying to find something.

What? No Pink Slip??

Wait. I don't understand. I was EXPECTING to get a pink slip by March 15th. I got a bad review where my evaluating principal marked almost everything as "needs improvement." I seriously thought she hated me. I thought my district hated me because of my work comp injuries. I've messed up my shoulder because of playing piano and conducting. I sprained my ankle at work three times.

I was certain I was getting a pink slip. The arts are the first thing to go. I teach a music class where the keyboards are constantly breaking down. I struggle to keep up with two school campuses--a high school and a middle school. I've been outrageously sick and made alot of mistakes. I've been late turning in grades because I was so sick. The principal of the high school came and hunted me down in the middle of rehearsal to get me to turn them in. I've been blamed for all the kids I had to move out of my program, the discipline problems, the lack of enthusiasm that the kids are showing. They expected me to walk in and do better than the teacher they had before and that hasn't happened because choir programs always go though upheaval when a new director starts.

I thought I was going to struggle to find something else over the summer. I had a PLAN. I knew what I would say about the whole situation when I went to interviews. I talked about this plan with other teachers. Getting pink slipped was no big deal. Did the pink slip get lost somewhere? Was I going to be called into the office and told I was going to be let go?

Seriously, stop playing. I was going to throw a party, invite all my friends and serve pink cocktails. Where's my pink slip??