Wits End

It's no secret that it's hard to replace a choir teacher that was there for 10 years, even if they weren't very popular. But the teacher I replaced was very popular... and that makes it way worse.

Today's classes were really awful. I decided to talk to the pricipal because I was at the point of tears. The position I have now isn't the position I was sold and things have been going on a downhill slide. My accompanist is, quite frankly, a major source of discouragement to me. She said, I can tell you right now, if I were the teacher, they wouldn't be acting like this. Well, that's interesting, she's perfectly capapble of writing a referral or disciplining the kids and they still act the same way in front of her.

I told the pricipal at the high school that the way things are going right now, I don't think that we will be able to have a concert. I have no support from the community. Every time I have called home people tell me there wasn't a problem until I came along. If i can suspend kids from class and get to the ones that really do want to work, we might still be able to have a concert. But quite frankly, the counselors have torn this program to shreds by putting kids in the class that don't want it for the sake of numbers. Why would you give me kids that don't want to sing and don't want to be there and then blame me that it's not going well? I tried to kick kids out, but I wasn't allowed to. Now I've got them saying they have their quinceanera or other family opbligations or work and they won't be there. I need major support to make this concert happen, but its not fair to me to have to put on crap in front of the community. I'm a good teacher, but I haven't had a chance to let that show.

Then I found out what that other teacher had really done. He had slowly dismantled the full time choir program to the point where he was mainly teaching piano so that he wouldn't have so many performances. I wasnt' ready to teach piano. I've done it, but it's been so hard. He wrote nasty letters saying he was forced out of his job that were published in community newspapers. He burned every bridge there was to burn. He wanted more money--more of a stipend than anyone else plus a salary increase. He let the superintendent of schools have it. He took all of his piano music with him. He didn't leave me a list of community contacts or upcoming concerts. He's used parents and students as messengers to let the administration know that he wanted his job back in November. Most people don't do these kinds of things when they leave a job.

I've been keeping it all in and trying to stay out of trouble as much as possible. But I've been getting all of the blame. I've had to sit through bad reviews that sent me home crying and wondering if I should even continue teaching. Everyone else is going to be fine. The principal is retiring, the community will move on, the school will still be there next year, the Board of Education will still be there.

I'm the one who has been hit the hardest. I'mthe one who had gone home crying after bad reviews. I'm the one with a torn rotator cuff. I'm the one who has to look for a new job next year and I have nothing I can show for that. I'm the one wondering if I should even teach anymore.