I Lost It

This morning I still had a headache. I won't come to school early ever again--it makes me irritable. It's outrageous that no one EVER is sure to mention that there will be an overlap in the schedule such that I will have junior high and high school kids together at the same time. I planned to tell one of my choirs that I'm not coming back. I don't want to tell the junior high kids yet, not until tomorrow. So I was stuck and panicked and angry that I get the shaft every time. I lost it with the office manager.

Then I lost it with a kid not much longer after. He had been goofing off on his skateboard INSIDE. He asked:
WHat would happen if I didn't take the final?
I would string up up by your toes like a kosher pig. But what would really happen is that you would get an F.

I just wanted to scare him into working though I don't think I picked the best way. Imagine that, tell your teacher you don't want to take you final. Imagine me losing it with a kid like that. I would take the day off tomorrow if I could. I'm just going to take it easy, tell the chamber choir that they are on their own for next year. I told my girls that they were going to be the top choir next year. They were proud but sad. They all hugged me, the ones who were most against me at times hugged me the hardest. I'm sad and I cried in front of them. How much pressure can one person take?

Better Luck Next Year

I've been playing Solitaire alot while I've been thinking alot about how to avoid what I ended up with this school year. I am definitely getting good at Solitaire, so at least that is good.

1. Ask more questions at the interview so I know what the position really is.
2. Make sure I know the situation with an accompanist.
3. Find out why the last teacher left. retirement, money, whatever. It all makes a difference in setting the tone.
4. Don't take a position with too many preps. I had 4 and no idea that I would be stuck with so much piano. Class piano is very difficult to teach.
5. Audition kids and kick out the ones that can't sing.
6. Kick out kids with low GPAs or you will never be able to take kids to performances off campus.
7. Classroom management is key. I really don't like it and I didn't think I would have the problems I did. I am investigating the concept of classroom meetings so that kids have a role in discipline problems. This will help them develop maturity and social responsibility and take the onus off me.

In some ways,I won't have to worry about the same things. This is an unusual community. I teach in.

I'm going to play more Solitaire.

Yearbooks and Discipline Issues

It seems like kids can't keep their hands off their yearbooks. I warned two kids to put away their yearbooks or I would take them away. They dropped them behind the risers. I was talking with the class about the concert being cancelled. They decided to announce it over the loudspeaker to the junior high kids. I was so frustrated. I didn't want to deal with it until Monday after my dad had come to tape them performing. One of the girls was lying across the risers reading her yearbook. I knew exactly what she was doing. I went around to get it.

She pulled the yearbook away from me and said:
Don't take this one, take that one.
MissD: Don't you DARE tell me what I can take and what I can't. I am your teacher.
She started to cry as if she hadn't done anything wrong.
MissD: I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings, but I warned you. And none of you should ever talk to your teachers or any adult that way whether you like them or not.

It Was My Mom Texting Me

This is the second time I have confiscated Tina's cell phone during choir practice. She had a toothache and was texting on her phone. At first she said it was the oragel she was holding in her hand.

I said: How about what's in your pocket? MissD always knows.
She said: It was my mom.
I said: I don't care if it was God. You should not be using your cell phone during class. And God wouldn't be texting you because he knows you have class.

Lucky me, they all decided not to sing.
A student: We don't like what you said. It was stupid. What if it's an emergency?
I said: Then you would be allowed to use your cell phone.
Student: How do we know if we don't check?
I said: You shouldn't check, but if there is an emergency here, then you would be allowed to use it. Also, if you don't feel well enough to be in class, Tina, then you should let me know and the nurse needs to know so that you can be released.
Student: We don't like what you said. It was stupid.
I said: I apologize if I offended you. I was emphasizing that it doesn't matter who it is. There are proper chanels to go through and the office should know what is going on.

I also pulled Tina aside to explain this to her again. As an adult I have classes during which I do not use my cell phone because it is rude to do so. When I asked if she understood, she nodded yes.

Perhaps I will take the time tomorrow to explain what constitutes an emergency situation at school that would allow the use of cell phones, but from my understanding, an emergency is a campuswide event like Columbine, VA Tech, 9/11, lockdown, flood, fire or campus closure.

The real problem came after school when the one of the Secretary 1 was being honored for classified employee of the year. She locked everything up before she left and a retired lady is subbing for because she knows how things run. She doesn't have a key. The Secretary 2 is out taking care of her son who needed surgery on a broken foot. The result, the phone was locked up. The parent was irate.

I don't pay for my daughter to have a cell phone for it to be locked up all night. I'm going to the district office to complain. Teachers shouldn't say those things.

Whatever. Bring it. I'll be filing a rebuttal. When I told a friend on the custodial staff what happened he said, Amen. God wouldn't be texting you in the middle of class.

Falling Apart

My chamber singers don't seem to care if I fail them. In fact, they seemed to love the idea if it means defying me. They don't wnat to perform because they think they sound terrible. The thing is, they do sound pretty bad because they won't let me teach them. They won't try the things that I ask them to do. I can't let them perform the way they sound now. My chamber class is mostly seniors and they've been ditching alot.

It's really sad. It made me cry today because maybe I'm just a bad teacher. However a guy I used to date was a music teacher for awhile. He is a brilliant musician with an amazing voice. He said his problem was that he just couldn't tell the kids what to do. He does well for himself today. So I could have a perfectly happy life not teaching.

Maybe I should be a performer or a writer--or both. Teaching is really difficult these days. I heard a motivational speaker from Nigeria who is a wheelchair Olympian. But he used to drag himself--literally--drag himself on his hands and knees across dirt roads for 2 miles each way to get to school. Imagine that! And I can't even get kids to sing. One girl wouldn't walk 1 mile to sing at a performance. WALK! It makes me wonder if it is really me that is the problem. I have a hard time imagining any of these kids having that much determination. I wish that guy would come talk to my classes.

The problem is that I like teaching when it's working. I like helping kids learn. I love to sing. I love to teach singing. I've even liked teaching piano. I only don't like it when kids give up. Maybe I will conference with them tomorrow and see what they say.

Wits End

It's no secret that it's hard to replace a choir teacher that was there for 10 years, even if they weren't very popular. But the teacher I replaced was very popular... and that makes it way worse.

Today's classes were really awful. I decided to talk to the pricipal because I was at the point of tears. The position I have now isn't the position I was sold and things have been going on a downhill slide. My accompanist is, quite frankly, a major source of discouragement to me. She said, I can tell you right now, if I were the teacher, they wouldn't be acting like this. Well, that's interesting, she's perfectly capapble of writing a referral or disciplining the kids and they still act the same way in front of her.

I told the pricipal at the high school that the way things are going right now, I don't think that we will be able to have a concert. I have no support from the community. Every time I have called home people tell me there wasn't a problem until I came along. If i can suspend kids from class and get to the ones that really do want to work, we might still be able to have a concert. But quite frankly, the counselors have torn this program to shreds by putting kids in the class that don't want it for the sake of numbers. Why would you give me kids that don't want to sing and don't want to be there and then blame me that it's not going well? I tried to kick kids out, but I wasn't allowed to. Now I've got them saying they have their quinceanera or other family opbligations or work and they won't be there. I need major support to make this concert happen, but its not fair to me to have to put on crap in front of the community. I'm a good teacher, but I haven't had a chance to let that show.

Then I found out what that other teacher had really done. He had slowly dismantled the full time choir program to the point where he was mainly teaching piano so that he wouldn't have so many performances. I wasnt' ready to teach piano. I've done it, but it's been so hard. He wrote nasty letters saying he was forced out of his job that were published in community newspapers. He burned every bridge there was to burn. He wanted more money--more of a stipend than anyone else plus a salary increase. He let the superintendent of schools have it. He took all of his piano music with him. He didn't leave me a list of community contacts or upcoming concerts. He's used parents and students as messengers to let the administration know that he wanted his job back in November. Most people don't do these kinds of things when they leave a job.

I've been keeping it all in and trying to stay out of trouble as much as possible. But I've been getting all of the blame. I've had to sit through bad reviews that sent me home crying and wondering if I should even continue teaching. Everyone else is going to be fine. The principal is retiring, the community will move on, the school will still be there next year, the Board of Education will still be there.

I'm the one who has been hit the hardest. I'mthe one who had gone home crying after bad reviews. I'm the one with a torn rotator cuff. I'm the one who has to look for a new job next year and I have nothing I can show for that. I'm the one wondering if I should even teach anymore.

Creepy Kid

I had to throw one of my students out because his behavior was out of control. I suspended him from class three times. I also gave him "chances" by letting him wait outside until he calmed down. This kid has serious problems with anger.

The thing he did that was the weirdest and most disturbing before I kicked him out was that he found out what my address and phone number were and then asked me what they were in front of the whole class. He wanted to to throw me off.

I called a parent meeting because of all the other things he was doing--singing out of tune on purpose, making up his own melodies at innappropriate times, annoying his classmates by singing while he played piano when he wasn't supposed to. I knew he was trouble on the first day he had my class. He called another girl a bitch coming up from the sewer or something like that. Like I said, serious problems.

After a parent meeting, him spitting on my car and additional antics, I finally got a schedule change. Usually by the time I have to have a parent meeting, the kid should be pulled out of the class.

For some odd reason he showed up at my door.
Kid: Hi Miss D.
D: Hello.
Kid: I just came by to say hi.
D: Whatever for?
Kid: Nothing in particular. I just wanted to say hi.

I watched him leave. I have run into as I walk through the office. I don't even look at him. There's something bizarre about that kid. I told the counselor and the union rep that he dropped by my class. He's not supposed to do that. If he stops by again, I'm calling security.

Team Building for Choir

In school they taught us about conducting. They taught us notes, rhythms, music theory, music history, how to practice, how to perform. They told us how to teach those academic things because that's all you need. Not true. They did not teach us how to lead kids.

This week I learned that kids need to feel like they are a part of something special, that they belong, that they are important and that what they say matters. Both of my choirs weren't really working well together or doing what I asked, so I decided to take a "fun break." But it wasn't just about fun, it was about engaging in activities that focused on them rather than threatening, disciplining, lecturing and cajoling them into singing better. They didn't feel good, they were mad at me, and at each other.

I coaxed them into playing games, even though they fought me. We played a game with yarn where we said things about ourselves and threw it to someone who also had that in common.
Miss D, what's that yarn for anyways? We aren't two!
What does this have to do with singing? This is so dumb.
I'm not sitting in the circle because I don't want to play.
Soon they were all laughing and going along with it because it was fun.
I have a texting problem.
I have three cats.
I was on swim team.
I have 3 brothers.
I have a pink cell phone.
I'm black!!
Soon we could see a visual representation of all the things that connected us.

When on of the girls suggested we play follow the leader, I went with it. It was the most fun we had all year. We walked through the campus, shushing each other, walking over obstacles, laughing together. My chamber choir did community juggling and wanted to play tag, so I let them.

Sometimes I worried I could be reported. Let's just say that the endless story (where each person adds a sentence to another and the story gets really bizarre) got a little bit nasty and sexual. I worried that the kids might report me or some adminstrator might walk in. I scratched some things out of their stories as they got me. I also made sure they collected them all. To a certain extent they don't get that it's innapporpriate because they talk about sex with their friends, in sex education and see things in movies. I started to use a rating system with them. We have to keep this rated PG.

I know that next week their singing will be better without the practice because they feel better. Even Sassy respectfully reminded me that he wouldn't be in class for a field trip. I said We'll try to have a good time without out. You were really funny yesterday shoving all the balls in your pockets.

They all got why we had done these crazy activities when I explained it to them at the end of the week. I also told them that we needed to incorporate time to have fun together in class. I told them I wished I had thought of doing these kids of things at the beginning of the school year. It would have made all the difference in the world for how my year has gone. At least I have an expanded bag of tricks for next year.

Team Building Articles from Suite 101:

Crowd Breaker Games
Groups and Classroom Games
Classroom Games and Ice Breakers
Youth Ministry Ice Breaker Games
Youth Minstry Games

What I Saw vs. What You Say

MissD: You need to use your time for practice.
Katie: I was practicing, Miss D.
MissD: Oh, really? Is that why I asked you to go back to your chair twice?
Katie: But except for that, I was practicing.
MissD: Really? Let's review. What did I see in between testing kids?
Katie: I was up out of my chair.
MissD: Yes, and?
Katie: You saw me talking to the girl behind me.
MissD: And?
Katie: You saw me leaning back in my chair sideways, talking.
MissD: And then when you came for your piano test, how did you do?
Katie: Not so hot.
MissD: Why's that?
Katie: Because I need to focus on my practicing more and not talk at all.
MissD: Thanks for telling me what I already know. If you had played perfectly, I might not be so hard on you. But I'm looking at the evidence and it tells me that you aren't practicing enough. You only get one more chance. Now git. Shoo. Outta here. Go practice.

She picked up her piano book, went back to her seat, put on her headphones and put her fingers on the keyboard. Why they think they are fooling me is really beyond me at this point. Now I ask them to evaluate their own behavior. Clearly I have eyes on the back of my head. I am psychic. I've also heard it all before. I am a teacher, after all!

Being Quiet

It's hard not to talk when you are in junior high and your best friend is sitting next to you in class. I have two girls in my piano/choir class that just loooove to talk to each other. I really ought to move them, but I honestly hate doing seating charts, too. I want them by kids they like for peer tutoring on the piano. Plus, I just hate being strict. It's boring. Plus, if you reallllly like to talk, you'll talk across the room. They have done that plenty of times.

I've had to find other ways to get them to be quiet like thanking them for not talking. Then I might say, Headphones on, fingers on the keys, mouths closed. This works for about 10 minutes. I also ferret out who has been practicing by how well they play the keyboard for their tests. It's not really about talent at this point. It's about practice and focusing on the skills that you need to focus on.

MissD: What you REALLY need is to practice more and talk less.
Kid: I doo practice.
MissD: Practice more. Talk less.
Kid: OH, Miss D, how do you KNOW?
MissD: I just know.
Kid: Alright. I admit it. I could practice more.
MissD: Thank you. I know.

I was fixing another student's book with clear duct tape when I noticed two girls chatting away quietly, not practicing.

OK, girls, that's enough. Headphones on, fingers on the keys, mouths closed. They honestly tried. I'm sure of it, but soon they were back at their merry chat.

Alright, that's it. I had a small piece of extra tape left over and started walking toward one of the girls as if I were going to put it on her mouth.
Miss D, you can't do that! called one of the kids.
She took the piece of tape and put it over her own mouth.
She did it herself, it wasn't me!
Everyone laughed. Every time I turned around, something new would happen. The other girl made a piece and put it over her mouth. They weren't talking anymore, they were practicing. Then the pieces of tape kept getting bigger. Finally, I put a piece of tape over my own mouth and wore it as I went around to help the kids with their keyboard skills. We were all smiling while we practiced.

Senior Ditch Day

For some reason, senior ditch day had seniors still hanging around a little. I don't know about you, but when I was a senior, I didn't go anywhere NEAR the school on a ditch day. But the principal decided to schedule the college application workshop the same day as senior ditch day. Teachers scheduled tests. Kids were told if they missed those things on that day and they were seniors that they would not be allowed to make it up.

What did that do? We had a rash of seniors around the campus to go to those periods that had those tests. They also showed up for their application workshops. Sassy and his posse visited and left quickly.

When other seniors came I asked them,
What are you doing here on Senior Ditch Day?
We already ditched on Friday, the day it was changed to.

That's when I heard about all the tests and the application worskshops. Some seniors ditched for both the days. In the end, Sassy and I got a break from each other for the day.

The problem is that it gutted my choir for the day. I decided I would still make them work as a small ensemble. They need to learn that sometimes that happens. They need to work on holding their parts. I worked with one of my soloists. It was still a productive day.

We had Open House in the evening. One of my seniors said, I came by to see you because I missed you today. Awww, that was sweet. He also told me he was feeling ill until about 3pm when it suddenly cleared up. I had those days back then, too. I hate to admit to HOW MANY!!

College Application Workshop email

Career Counselor 4/4/2008 1:20 PM

>>>I am attaching a list of the seniors who signed up for the Community College Online Application workshop on Tuesday, April 8. The list also includes the period they are to report to the library for the workshop.The Seniors should already have a letter telling them what period to come to the Library. They are supposed to report to their class before they come to the library.To review the list, please right click on the attachment and open the document.

---------------------------------------------------------

Dear Career Counselor,

I looked at the list. Can you PLEASE take Sassy out of 1st period instead of his second period. I have him ALL DAY-- 1st and 3rd. I need him 3rd, but he can be a real pain 1st period!!!Thanks!!

Miss D

I Can't Count

Sassy told me I can't count today. I asked him to be quiet 4 times and he insisted:
S: You need to learn how to count.
D: You need to learn how to stop mouthing off.

I thought about it later. I haaaaate being challenged in front of everyone. He works me, but then he backs off. I never know if I have won the confrontation. Maybe he just wants to push me to test how far he can go before he starts losing senior privileges. Maybe it was a draw.

Later in choir, since I have him for two classes, I just started telling our accompanist what Sassy said. I just wouldn't put up with his attitude. I was about ready to throw him out for throwing his backpack across the room--as if it weren't enough that he was already late. I spoke loudly so as to get through his thick teenaged skull.

D: So, Sassy says I can't count, but really, he's the one who can't count. I told him to be quiet 4 times. He forgot to count the time I told the whole class to be quiet. I guess he thinks that it doesn't apply to him.
M: Isn't that the truth. They never do.

For some strange reason, Sassy didn't make a peep for the rest of the class time.

Again, I don't know if I have won. It could be that he's just regrouping and planning his next attack. That requires thought and planning. Best not to talk in those times, right?

Welcome Back with Sass

I went back to school with my migraine finally under control. Sometimes it's back to the same old, same old sassiness.

Things keep getting worse with Sassy. He's the kid who jumped off the choir risers and onto a chair. I have him for two classes. Today I got extra sass.

I was giving announcements about what was going to happen when we came back from break. It's hard enough to give announcements to a class. One time, as student played some of "A Whole New World" I ended up singing most of the song. That worked to get them to be quiet. Sassy was talking to one of his closest friends. I asked him to be quiet. He continued his talking.

D-Sassy, will you stop talking while I'm talking.
S-Can you ask nicely?
D-I already did ask.
S-You want us to respect you, so you should talk to us with respect.
D-Everyone else is quiet and listening and you're still talking. I suggest you back down now or you will get a referral.

He backed down. He knows that might mean getting senior privileges taken away. I thought there would be peace. I went to my office to get something and heard a ruckus and a door slam. My talkers were gone. I called the attendance office and told them who was truant for when they call home. See if I count you as here if you leave my class like that.

He actually behaved himself in choir, though I don't know why.

I'm getting a really tough skin from dealing with all of this crap.

You're Alright

One of my students told me, You're cool, Miss D. I have alot of respect for you. I really do. If I ever saw you in trouble like your car broke down or something, I would help you push it to the gas station. And I wouldn't do that for just anyone. Seriously. You're alright.
There is a long history with this kid. He has behavior problems. He used to act out in my piano class. One day he hit me with, "You only ever pay attention to me when I'm doing something wrong." I then started going by to check his progress.
R-Can I play this for you Miss D?
D-Sure thing. I'd sit and listen for five minutes. Keep up the good work, OK?
Another day:
R-Miss D I brought a beat track I made. Can I play it for you?
Of course. I listen.
R-Someday I'm gonna be famous and you can say you had me in piano and you knew me way back before I became famous.

Other kids don't like him. They tell me they don't like him. I feel so bad for him now. He honestly does respect me. Even though he does wrong, I still treat him like he's human. One day I saw him in the office looking really upset.
R-They threw me out of class because I laughed during Schindler's List.
D-Why did you laugh?
R-Because when the Nazi's were shooting people, they were treating them like animals and it made me laugh because it was so wrong.
D-People laugh sometimes when they are nervous or something bothers them like that. But can you see that other people might be upset, right?
R-Yes. I guess I can.
D-It's not what most people would do, so that's why it bothered them. Hey, take care of youself. Think about what I said, OK?

When I saw him later, he told me that his mother had commited suicide 3 years ago. He hasn't felt like himself since then. She was schizophrenic.
D-Well, anyone would be upset by that kind of stuff. Of course you haven't been yourself. It takes a long time to get over stuff like that.
R-Thanks for listening Miss D.

He got suspended for saying something really vulgar to a teacher and came back asking, Miss D, did you miss me while I was gone?
D-Yes, I did.

I worry about that kid.

Time Change

I hate the time change. It throws everyone one off, but it especially throws off kids. They're all so tired and grouchy. I've had a rather eventful couple of days. One of my students made a raspberry sound at me when I asked him to get his book for the third time. Then he decided to be creative by jumping onto a chair and breaking it. He could have broken a bone and I hate to say it, I sort of wish he had. The vice principal threatened to start taking things away from him at this point. He said:

I don't think you'll have any more problems with him. I told him if I hear any more of this silly stuff, I will take away prom. If I hear something after that, I will take away a the senior trip. If I hear something else after that, I'll take away grad night.

Hmmm...that might work. Part of me wanted him suspended from class for the day. The VP forgot that I had that student for another class and he waltzed in to give me a little more attitude. I wanted some kind of more severe punishment because that student sort of pisses me off. I don't want him to fail my class and he's headed in that direction. I certainly didn't need him telling me in front of all the piano students, I already told you I wasn't going to take that test. Don't you listen? I'm tired of second chances. Maybe he needs to lose those things to understand that he's being a complete sh-thead.

But I think what would really work is that they get rid of the time change. I mean seriously, things weren't great before the time change, but the time change made everything worse with all the kids. If anyone worked with kids they wouldn't do this time change anymore. It just throws us all off.

Please, next year let's just pick the half hour in between and split the difference. We're all tired of being late for church or work or forgetting to change the clock. Another teacher was an hour late to school on Monday. If we just pick that half an hour in the middle and never change it again, we'll all be happier. What's half an hour of dark on either end or half and hour of light? At least we'll have a consistent schedule like in the old days before they invented the lunacy of Daylight Savings Time.

On top of that, Daylight Savings Time from now forward hits us in the beginning of March rather than the beginnings of April. Great! That's also possibly why it's so bad right now.

For more info:

www.energy.ca.gov/daylightsaving.html

Texting isn't all fun and games

Every kid seems to have a cell phone. Mainly they are texting each other. They ought to have phones that are text only just for teens and tweens. Texting is so pervasive that I have started to joke with my students, Next time I'll text you. Then you'll have it. to alleviate the constant questions of Where are we? What page? Huh? or to let them know it's time to start class.

But sometimes texting can be serious. Why would a mother text her 12 year old child to let her know that her grandmother has passed away??? I didn't have that child in my class, but some of my students ended up walking that child to class and were late to my class. I was upset because these students have a little bit of a lateness problem, and about half my class was late that day. Honestly though, I appreciate that they were so sensitive to another child's pain. That level of sympathy doesn't often happen with junior high kids.

Maybe my parents were different. They would have waited until I got home so they could hug me and console me. Heck, even the miltary is different. They would never text you to let you know that someone special had died. They send someone to your house to express their sympathies. A text message has no regard for where you are or what you are doing. What a crushing blow to a child. Some parents just don't think and we teachers are left to pick up the pieces.